To Be Myself-Continued

Started reading Amitabh's blog from last week, can say have become a regular,addicted visitor to the same.

As I opened his blog in the morning,saw an interesting post which speaks about relationships and the dilemmas in handling them. It actually spoke one angle of my perspective which i shared in the last post 'To Be Myself'.

I would like to share some of the lines of his post over here:

"I take some comfort in the fact that my father too found writing foreword’s a cumbersome process. He mentions that in many of his musings that I have been going through. Honesty in expressing what he truly felt was his hallmark. Not many appreciated that, simply because those he wrote for, expected praise. If the subject was worthy of it he would gladly mention it. If not he would honestly deride it. Not many had the courage to do that.

In life at times we face similar dilemmas. Who to say what to and when. And when we do would it be received in the spirit of frank honesty or apprehension of misunderstanding. Vital opinions essential for the moment have the misfortune of getting covered in a blanket of silence and muted for fear of disturbing the object of comment. Sometimes with disastrous consequences. So generally the easier path is taken. Better to be quiet and not lose a relationship than otherwise.

Relationships, though have their own graph. Many in them expect that you speak up. It demonstrates strength and belief and confidence of understanding. If.. both parties remain on the same plain. Many a times it is this very plain that becomes the cause of the disturbance.

Delicate !! Difficult !! Sensitive !! Undecided !!
Most would rather not ruffle the feathers.

I sometimes exercise discretion. I find myself taking it upon myself rather than passing it on. And a simple philosophy to justify that. Better one troubled being than two !! Better me than he."

"Better me than he" - wonderful lines to end the other perspective.

Children...

Yesterday after the long search for a house, finally got one as per our budget. Myself and my fiancee went to meet the owner after finishing our office.

The owner was adamant about the advance and the rent initially, yet another disappointment. We walked out saying it is not affordable. As we were discussing outside the house; with the broker, the lady (owners wife) called me in. I was little surprised about her move.

As I went in, the owner said, "Please quote your rent, My wife is forcing me to give the house to you". i was little surprised by her behaviour.Later he explained that his children have left them and it seems i look like her grand daughter. Ah..touchy.

Felt bad to those millions of parents who sacrifice their lives for their children and yet face the loneliness at their last stages. Really I do not understand what makes the children do it.

If you are doing the same think over!!!

To Be Myself

Many a times we try to be somebody else before others. We always move around with 2 faces. Finally the one who is going to suffer is us.

The pre- marital days are the ones where the boy and the girl try to get to know each other . Since I am undergoing the same phase I have tried my best not to impress him but to let him know what I am.

I have seen some people posing to be different person before his/her fiance. This is not to impress them but not to hurt them.The sole reason being "They Love Them" and so they are ready to accept things against their wish.I admire their feeling.

But after some years I have seen them suffer because they had compromised in the shortcomings of their partner. They made their partner happy but in turn they had hurted their conscience. For some this might not be the case as they are happy to be like that.

I always believe that, if your partner truly loves you, he would never want you to compromise or get hurt.It really hurts me when I cheat myself so i have tried hard to be myself before him.

Of course I do understand that for a relationship to grow adjustments and compromises are needed. But when this tends to be one sided, it leads to erupt after sometime.

I have tried to be myself before him. Not sure if he is dissappointed with this behaviour but I think I am rite, atleast I dont want to act before him and neither does he wants me to do so.

Photo Courtesy: Google :-)

Pretention

So many times I have wondered why people pretend.

So many times when we get impressed by someone we try to imitate them.We try toshow we are ideal.I don't say that you don't take the positives from some person but just that don't pretend . Sometimes we pretend just to impress people. I remember one of the articles of Ravi Belegere where he says that the day you pretend to be someone, you will be 'SOMEONE' forever and you will never be 'YOURSELF'.

Remembered those days when i came across the message and have penned down here.Yet I don't say people who try to be the best are pretentious. As they say "The Downside of being better than everyone else is That People Tend to Assume you are Pretentious".

There is a thin line of demarcation. It is left to us to decide whether a person is pretensious or he is what he is. Before you tell she pretends, make sure you really KNOW he/she is pretending

Stranger to Soulmate

Life is full of mysteries.. as i getup everyday i see a mystery that gets unfolded.And I just look up and say 'I can't believe'.

Of all the mysteries seen, one which really dropped my jaw was the mystery of "Stranger to Soulmate". Ofcourse this applies mostly to the arranged marriages.

Its just a week that I got engaged and I have seen this person just twice and may have spoken to him totally for 1 hr(Total Hrs!!!) and now I am going to share the whole life with him.

Its just hard to believe but yet true. In one of our conversations my fiance said that;He had seen me some 7 years back in some function and he had liked me and now we are going to get married. Strange yet true.

I am scared about how i would go through the journey of accepting a stranger as my soulmate. The Changes we have to undergo, the compromises, the sacrifices ...Same is the case with him.

Fingers crossed.

Life is strange indeed

"All that happens is for Good"

Let me assure you that through this blog, I am not going to unleash the path to the so called "Happiness" by uttering the above line.

Alas..the optimistic herd around me have told these lines innumerable times and now I hate this line.

When it hurts,we cry and ask "Why me?" and then gradually when the situation becomes habit, we tend to console and tell our self "All that happens is for Good!!", and we try to get the learning out of that stupid- bad incident.(Even if there are none, we invent or discover some learning).

I admire the human nature, which cries yesterday saying "Why Me God??" and then smiles today saying "Thank God it happened to me!!!!" . Its just a way of escape, where we run away by just accepting. Because we are left with no way but to accept and move ahead.

I hate the line "All that happens is for Good!!", this cannot be true.May be they use this just to get some strength to move on and march ahead by gaining some optimism.Move ahead in life, be Optimistic but please don't utter the above line.You need not accept that the bad was good just to move on. You can still go ahead saying "What happened was bad, Hope It does not repeat".

Somehow I can't bear people who say this often. So when people start saying the above line, i just stop them before getting irritated.

I am Special

Hmmm... quite a philosophical post. But could not stop myself from writing this.

Have started introspecting myself more and more these days. The quiet 15 minutes i spend in my hostel after the dinner help me do this.

Off late I have tried to conclude the reason for my uneasiness. Often I compared myself with others, i have really been harsh to the body of mine whenever i lost something. Whether it was because of my fault or other's, the loss of depression was incurred by my body and mind.

I felt depressed when someone else got an offer, although i deserved the offer more.

I felt demotivated when I looked at the handicaps i had, after looking at others.

Even when I shined with an achievment, I was unhappy; the reason being, I compared myself to someone above me.

I compared when I was happy, I compared when I was sad. And the end result is I never enjoyed the small gifts of life. I never was happy.

Now I know, I am special and so I cannot compare myself to others. If I compare then I am disrespecting myself. Which I will not.

I try to tell myself these words whenever I face something annoying. yet I go back to my old habits sometimes.

Old habits die hard............................