It was a pleasant surprise to meet one of my college senior, while I was busy shopping. After usual hi, hello; I informed her about my marriage and invited her.
And then came the topic in our conversation which is also the reason of the existence of this post.
As we chatted,came some advices from her, she being a experienced married working woman.I quietly accepted it as they were the facts.
Let me divide the post of mine into 3 varied experiences of 3 married women, to bring in the clarity.Of course there will be a conclusion from me and rest is left for you guys to comment.
Experience 1(My Senior): As we chatted, I came to know that, she has left the job and is now at home. She is now,pursuing music with more vigour. Good she is trying to do something she loved from deep of her heart.Then she said "Ranjitha:Now is the real test for you, which tests your patience of balancing personal life and career.As you move on you will understand that personal life is more important than career and you will have to make real tough decisions to have a happier life (?)"
I just retorted, my fiance seems to be supportive. Then she quickly replied "They are good at initial days but as days progress you will get more comments from them, about the cleanliness of home, cooking and the list never ends........" The chat was interrupted when her husband called her and we parted our ways.
Experience 2(My Hostel mate): During dinner, was discussing about this with one of my hostel mate, when she narrated me a story of her friend, who is a doctor by profession and even her husband is a doctor. they live in a joint family with her in laws. Her in law does not want to cook or do any household chores, as she wants her daughter in law to do it. She feels that her in law never did anything so why should she help her daughter in law. The poor girl after balancing household and the doctor profession, once shared with her husband that "It is becoming difficult for her". pop came the answer from the great husband "dear, I never told you to work outside, if it is difficult why do not you leave the job!!"
Experience 3(My friend): After listening to the above stories,one person who flashed in my mind was one of my colleague and a good friend.When I listen to her marriage experiences, my admiration for her husband two-folds. Its like he helps her in every household chore of hers.He cooks breakfast if she cooks the dinner,or viceversa. He gets up early and arranges for the maid, if she is sleeping in the morning,he helps her in washing, he helps her in arranging household, he goes with her for shopping.Wow..Its so wonderful to get such understanding husband.
Hmmm.. why is that for girls,the best place is home and not the outside world. Its always the girls who sacrifice for the family. Its the girls who should stop dreaming about a successful career, even if she wants to achieve, she will have to don the role of 'Super-Woman'.Why do guys forget that gals are equally helping the family financially and even they would have had dreams of growing in a career when they were young. I don't say that all guys are like that, but the maximum percentage of them fall into the category of wanting their wives to be at home. :-( . Some are lucky to have a understanding guy others are not.
And then came the topic in our conversation which is also the reason of the existence of this post.
As we chatted,came some advices from her, she being a experienced married working woman.I quietly accepted it as they were the facts.
Let me divide the post of mine into 3 varied experiences of 3 married women, to bring in the clarity.Of course there will be a conclusion from me and rest is left for you guys to comment.
Experience 1(My Senior): As we chatted, I came to know that, she has left the job and is now at home. She is now,pursuing music with more vigour. Good she is trying to do something she loved from deep of her heart.Then she said "Ranjitha:Now is the real test for you, which tests your patience of balancing personal life and career.As you move on you will understand that personal life is more important than career and you will have to make real tough decisions to have a happier life (?)"
I just retorted, my fiance seems to be supportive. Then she quickly replied "They are good at initial days but as days progress you will get more comments from them, about the cleanliness of home, cooking and the list never ends........" The chat was interrupted when her husband called her and we parted our ways.
Experience 2(My Hostel mate): During dinner, was discussing about this with one of my hostel mate, when she narrated me a story of her friend, who is a doctor by profession and even her husband is a doctor. they live in a joint family with her in laws. Her in law does not want to cook or do any household chores, as she wants her daughter in law to do it. She feels that her in law never did anything so why should she help her daughter in law. The poor girl after balancing household and the doctor profession, once shared with her husband that "It is becoming difficult for her". pop came the answer from the great husband "dear, I never told you to work outside, if it is difficult why do not you leave the job!!"
Experience 3(My friend): After listening to the above stories,one person who flashed in my mind was one of my colleague and a good friend.When I listen to her marriage experiences, my admiration for her husband two-folds. Its like he helps her in every household chore of hers.He cooks breakfast if she cooks the dinner,or viceversa. He gets up early and arranges for the maid, if she is sleeping in the morning,he helps her in washing, he helps her in arranging household, he goes with her for shopping.Wow..Its so wonderful to get such understanding husband.
Hmmm.. why is that for girls,the best place is home and not the outside world. Its always the girls who sacrifice for the family. Its the girls who should stop dreaming about a successful career, even if she wants to achieve, she will have to don the role of 'Super-Woman'.Why do guys forget that gals are equally helping the family financially and even they would have had dreams of growing in a career when they were young. I don't say that all guys are like that, but the maximum percentage of them fall into the category of wanting their wives to be at home. :-( . Some are lucky to have a understanding guy others are not.
Girls never want their husband to help in every chore, but a word of understanding will help them sail through the hardships.
We still can do it but we need just your understanding and a word of care. Just a caring hand would do.
2 comments:
A big No Comments :) :)
hmm...nice one.
Hope i fall in the 3rd category :)...
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